this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
