I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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