I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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