I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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