I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize