so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
