I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
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He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
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You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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