i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
