I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."