I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.