That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
pray to the hookup gods
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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