Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
