So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
