oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize