even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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