i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
