no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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