I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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