it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
