Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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