I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
