just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
