I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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