he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Do you remember whose house we're in?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
