you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
