Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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