I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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