Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
