8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
