Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
