then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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