mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
