K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
