spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
