apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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