im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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