Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I could fuck to npr.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize