Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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