I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
