i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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