You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
