Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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