So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
