why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
