she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
