I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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