Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
