We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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