Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dick very happy bro
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
