You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
