he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
