garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I did not marry a roomba.
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