There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize