he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
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Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.