Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.

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  (267): Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go. http://tfl.nu/5urf
  Replies (26) Good night (1709) Bad night (3895)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.

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  (918): I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass. http://tfl.nu/pyjz
  Replies (15) Good night (696) Bad night (5154)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  someone was throwing condoms at us.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  no, they just magically show up around you.

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  (401): someone was throwing condoms at us. (1-401): no, they just magically show up around you. http://tfl.nu/lgd4
  Replies (8) Good night (3981) Bad night (917)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...

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  (903): He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered... http://tfl.nu/skgw
  Replies (7) Good night (1268) Bad night (4756)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.

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  (860): He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter. http://tfl.nu/21c2
  Replies (18) Good night (5151) Bad night (1484)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.

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  (903): Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/yv47
  Replies (26) Good night (1719) Bad night (4442)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"

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  (804): she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart" http://tfl.nu/96tn
  Replies (5) Good night (2977) Bad night (1107)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy

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  (904): I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy http://tfl.nu/pgsd
  Replies (2) Good night (2563) Bad night (1093)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.

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  (503): I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it. http://tfl.nu/30lr
  Replies (12) Good night (2625) Bad night (1025)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere

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  (208): Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere http://tfl.nu/5ite
  Replies (4) Good night (1264) Bad night (586)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.

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  (780): Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters. http://tfl.nu/28t2
  Replies (3) Good night (916) Bad night (403)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.

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  (+61): Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me. http://tfl.nu/7l1e
  Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (375)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring

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  (513): This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring http://tfl.nu/luk6
  Replies (8) Good night (423) Bad night (992)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?

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  (870): I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life? http://tfl.nu/mep1
  Replies (1) Good night (565) Bad night (499)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking

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  (503): Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking http://tfl.nu/zd3u
  Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (204)

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