Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Why did I cab home last night?

  (1-310): View more from California

  Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.

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  (310): Why did I cab home last night? (1-310): Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker. http://tfl.nu/2rna
  Replies (1) Good night (999) Bad night (760)
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  (949): View more from California

  the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters

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  (949): the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters http://tfl.nu/l7fh
  Replies (39) Good night (5018) Bad night (994)
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  (619): View more from California

  I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.

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  (619): I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning. http://tfl.nu/8wyf
  Replies (15) Good night (6862) Bad night (1523)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.

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  (406): Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick. http://tfl.nu/xla1
  Replies (6) Good night (2067) Bad night (827)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.

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  (937): A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining. http://tfl.nu/4mc3
  Replies (16) Good night (2758) Bad night (917)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation

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  (703): Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation http://tfl.nu/67qo
  Replies (14) Good night (2170) Bad night (708)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.

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  (770): I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself. http://tfl.nu/dirk
  Replies (1) Good night (1149) Bad night (494)
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  (707): View more from California

  Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.

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  (707): Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish. http://tfl.nu/itg6
  Replies (4) Good night (1669) Bad night (454)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?

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  (520): Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!? http://tfl.nu/m57n
  Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (446)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."

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  (207): Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever." http://tfl.nu/4u45
  Replies (9) Good night (1409) Bad night (346)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.

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  (573): Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room. http://tfl.nu/y8jv
  Replies (3) Good night (619) Bad night (349)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call

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  (613): Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call http://tfl.nu/gkj8
  Replies (2) Good night (498) Bad night (210)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear

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  (734): If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear http://tfl.nu/bc5m
  Replies (6) Good night (816) Bad night (221)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink

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  (218): my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink http://tfl.nu/6ob7
  Replies (4) Good night (249) Bad night (474)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.

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  (307): Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away. http://tfl.nu/p927
  Replies (4) Good night (229) Bad night (475)

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