Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?

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  (970): Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet? http://tfl.nu/tasx
  Replies (3) Good night (1527) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.

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  (405): I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/pkl3
  Replies (20) Good night (5792) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.

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  (443): Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now. http://tfl.nu/xaw7
  Replies (14) Good night (1598) Bad night (4456) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.

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  (913): he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness. http://tfl.nu/hbrf
  Replies (10) Good night (901) Bad night (4526) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.

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  (505): I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat. http://tfl.nu/2tx3
  Replies (14) Good night (3842) Bad night (1224) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.

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  (580): Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me. http://tfl.nu/8lxk
  Replies (10) Good night (2229) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.

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  (251): I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time. http://tfl.nu/fcdx
  Replies (13) Good night (4087) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.

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  (707): Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty. http://tfl.nu/vu49
  Replies (8) Good night (3272) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  Thanks, mom.

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  (202): You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway. (1-202): Thanks, mom. http://tfl.nu/107n
  Replies (25) Good night (1712) Bad night (4310)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even

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  (317): Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night... (317): Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even http://tfl.nu/pe86
  Replies (7) Good night (2644) Bad night (593)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..

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  (+44): The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her.. http://tfl.nu/uw6o
  Replies (5) Good night (2068) Bad night (549)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.

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  (609): don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not. http://tfl.nu/y8qj
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !

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  (402): Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special ! http://tfl.nu/2zxz
  Replies (22) Good night (1574) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.

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  (818): It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care. http://tfl.nu/qr5p
  Replies (8) Good night (917) Bad night (1345) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom

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  (610): I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom http://tfl.nu/d66w
  Replies (5) Good night (649) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt

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