If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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