when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
